Unlearning...

I attended a teleclass last night facilitated by Jack Canfield, one of the authors of the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” series of books. He talked about an exercise he called Ideal Visioning – I think that’s what he called it. Basically, the idea was to check in with yourself and describe what would have to happen in order for you to be totally satisfied with each area of your life one year from now:
• Finances
• Job & Career
• Health & Fitness
• Relationships
• Fun & Recreation
• Personal Development (spirituality, skill set, etc.)
• Contribution & Legacy

It seemed like a great opportunity to pause and check in with myself…refocus my energies, evaluate what’s important based on what I know to be true for me, see where I can more consistently align my day-to-day behavior with what I want in life, and figure out what I need to add, eliminate or upgrade to live my life to the fullest.

Working through this exercise, I’m realizing it’s not so much about learning new information, reading a new book, or collecting more insights…it’s really about unlearning what no longer serves me. Unlearning. Even the idea of it is freeing, simplifying ... kinda like spring cleaning for my soul.

Growing up, we’re taught lots of things about how the world works, how to view others, how to view ourselves and our place in this world, how to navigate life in order to protect ourselves from harm and so on. Both consciously and unconsciously, we adopt these beliefs that guide the choices we make as we mature – both those that have been empowering and positive as well as those that have been harmful in some way.

Many of those beliefs served a purpose. For example, learning not to talk to strangers served to keep me safe when I was too immature to discern how to best protect myself. But now, if I continue to adopt that belief unquestioned -- consciously or unconsciously -- then I may miss opportunities to meet some amazing new people. Some inherited beliefs are more subtle and damaging, like someone learning there is only one “right” religion. We can look at religious fundamentalism in all faiths to see the damage THAT belief does if it goes unexamined by an evolving consciousness.

But today, I’m incredibly fortunate to have information that my ancestors did not have easy access to if at all…gifted teachers, lectures, seminars, retreats, books, ancient teachings from around the world. So the question becomes…based on what I know NOW, what beliefs serve my highest purpose to live a life guided by love, compassion, joy, honesty, monogamy, service, connection, meaningful work, faithfulness, and so on, and which do not. What beliefs do I need to unlearn today? And a great place to start is looking at any area of my life that is less than ideal.

A beautiful, clearly powerful man I met last month described how he struggled with procrastination…avoiding doing the things he knew would help him grow his business and make lots of money. It appeared to me he had an old tape playing in his head -- a belief at work -- about his inability to attract and manage wealth. His parents taught him to work hard, don’t make trouble, be satisfied and happy with whatever you get, be cautious, etc. and that money will always be a struggle.

Even though his world is more expansive in many ways and he now knows better, that deep-seated belief was keeping him stuck and he didn’t even realize it. He was courageous enough to get honest, he began questioning that belief, replacing it with his OWN belief based on his experience, and now his energies are freed up to serve him better. Unlearing. Definitely an ongoing process...

I invite you to do this exercise with me and share your vision with someone you love and trust. Saying it out loud makes the vision real, holds you accountable, and may unearth ideas you hadn’t thought of. Imagine what your life would look like in each of those areas…feel into it…and then add, eliminate or upgrade the people, places and things in your life to make space for this reality. If not now, when?

What do YOU need to unlearn to live into your vision? I can’t think of a better use of time -- clearing mental clutter -- except playing monopoly with my godson or a massage by my miracle worker Grace ;-)

And remember, if you are in the Triangle area of NC, join us at my next Meetup -- www.meetup.com/ListenToYourLife -- to discuss this and other ideas/tools to support you in living an inspired life.